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演艺界人士为四川灾区赈灾募捐名单

《世界娱乐报道》ent.icxo.com ( 日期：2008-05-14 08:51)	Ctrl+D 收藏本文

If you studiously avoid filling the lapses in a conversation or discussion you will notice something interesting. Others will nervously try to fill the verbal void. It is these comments that provide interesting factoids and give you power.

Take a day to demonstrate this to yourself.

Spend the day not making small talk with anyone outside of your family. When you go to get you cup of coffee and pastry don’t respond verbally when the clerk asks how you are. They don’t really care. They are programmed to ask. Simply nod and observe how they react.

Typically if you answer, they have already looked away and are preparing to ask what you would like. If you don’t verbally respond they will likely hesitate and look at you intently waiting for a response.

They are actually seeing you for the first time; really looking. They will also likely be notching up their respect for you. The unknown or unpredictable is always note worthy. This simple change in the typical protocol of social interaction has elevated you with the power of mystery. Do this all day long and observe how differentially you are treated by clerks, peers and even your supervisors.

Your silence denotes confidence, control and focus. It can be very intimidating.

In a negotiation you can and should use silence the same way. When entering the room and everyone is shaking hands and discussing the weather try stand slightly apart and silent. When people greet you, simply nod. Take a seat while others are still standing and shuffle through your papers.

Note how the others begin to react to you. Typically your opponents will become more wary having taken note of your serious demeanor, your sense of purpose, and your self confidence. They may even try to reach out to you to break the silence.

You are having an impact on them. That is the genesis of informal leadership power.

We are a competitive species. It is natural to get caught up in the give and take of the negotiating process. When we are in the trenches it is often easy to lose sight of our objectives. This is especially true in personal relationships where emotions can cloud our judgment.

Throughout any negotiation take breaks to regroup and refocus on your objectives. Think through how things are going and where they are headed. Get control of your emotions and assess how your tactics and strategies are working. Most important, make sure you have not lost sight of your primary goal and objectives.

In personal disputes it is acceptable to call for breaks. This is especially important when engaged with a child. Before you let their tactics get you emotionally out of control, call for a break and send the child to his or her room to think about what they are saying or doing. This gives them a chance to become less emotional and focused on simply winning. It also gives you time to catch your breath, get your bearings, and plan a solution that will defuse the argument.

As a parent it is your responsibility to lead the way out of arguments. You children need to learn this from you so they, later in life, can do the same thing with their spouses or children. Everything you do with your kids as a parent is part of your role as a teacher and mentor. They are always watching and will later mimic your behaviors.

Understanding the currency of a specific negotiation enables you to focus on satisfying the wants and needs of each other rather than simply trying to win. Expanding the negotiation discussion to include these alternate currencies provides additional incentives for the parties to agree on a myriad of terms rather than disagreeing on one major point. Diluting the importance of the primary term may convert a troubled situation into a mutually beneficial accord.

By incorporating ancillary currencies, you will increase the opportunity to craft an agreement that yields a greater return on your investment than merely bartering dollars. Often it enables you to garner value from the other person for something that you intended to provide anyway. Dollars are only one measure of value. Feelings, recognition, success, inclusion, service, image, ego and future opportunities are less measurable currencies but often they are more important than the dollars.

Ancillary currencies may seem to have little or no value to you but may be vitally important to the other person. It is the disparity of value that makes converting idle currencies into valued commodities in a transaction the creation of value. Bartering is the exchange of like value for like value. Negotiating is the creation of value and is more art than discipline.

When you are negotiating, having almost any conversation with anyone else, it is not your words that are being listened to as much as how you are phrasing them and the intonation of your delivery. And we, as adept social animals, often hide our true meaning with oblique comments and inflections so as not to expose ourselves unnecessarily.

The equation is simple: Language + Delivery = Intent x Obfuscation.

Delivery of an low-ball offer or seemingly unreasonable proposal along with a humorous inflection can be shrugged off as a joke if it is received and rejected out of hand. On the other hand, if it is not rejected but countered then you have a meaningful bid-ask situation and stand the chance of securing an agreement on attractive terms. The use of diametrically opposed inflection to provide cover when the message is substantially different then the other person expects is a calculated negotiating tactic. And it works!

As the recipient of such an offer understand the intent. The person using humor as a delivery tactic is likely fishing to see how you will react. By listening to the meaning behind the words, you will be better able to respond strategically rather than emotionally. If the offer is ridiculously low, you can choose to walk away or respond. If you are serious about making a deal, an effective response would be to calmly inform the other party of the value of the commodity, the basis for that valuation and ask them to reconsider their offer and do better. What you have done is delivered the message that you are informed; that you know the value of the commodity; that you are not desperate; and, that you are serious about reaching an agreement; if they are.

Recently when negotiating for a property in Beverly Hills, the other person threw out some obscenely high comparables. The numbers were astronomical. He did not say that he expected us to pay that amount. He did say that is what “others” were getting. My response was a civil recap of actual comps for like property and the flaws his site had as compared to them. Much later, after he had done his research (validating the information I had provided him), we were able to reach an accord. Had I simply reacted to his initial overture assuming he was serious, we would likely have parted company on the spot.

Learn to listen and observe and then, most important, think about the information you have just gathered before reacting.

发表于 2007-12-2 00:02  资料  站内信  加为好友   

各位学弟学妹好：
      本人有自用笔记本一台欲出售。
      品名：福日东升。
      配置：奔腾III处理器，863MHz，128M内存.
     系统：Mic Win XP  版本 2002.  
     售价：1000元 。

特点：
       一：带上耳机您便坠入了音乐的海洋。毋庸置疑，您可以品味“深秋的黎明”，感受“摘星的晚上”，亦或领悟“似水流年”，玩味“不可一世”的人生。总之那些“黄种人”的音乐都将被您一扫而光。
       二：当然对于好莱坞的爱好者，该笔记本将不吝满足要求      
       三：该笔记本对“拳皇”“傲世”等网络游戏会显露出极度的不友好。所以戏迷们你们可注意了。      
       您不会因为钱包的紧凑而甘心放弃这美好的精神追求吧？
       现在看您的了。
      轻轻拨动身边的手机号，您就拥有了这一切。

发表于 2007-12-13 18:07  资料  站内信  加为好友

笔记本850 卖了 思想上已经接受，可行动总来得迟缓一点，同学们一定有自己的算盘。不过我想说，机会是在一瞬间，这一刻没把握，下一刻不复存在了。      来看看货吧，总比在心里没有结果的打鼓好得多，您说是吗？        对了，一定要记得拨我的电话13907084214.        QQ：443980539

发表于 2007-12-13 20:44  资料  站内信  加为好友

回复 #1 lien007 的帖子 貌似LZ急着给本本找婆家啊。。。